You, not him

For the past few days I've been talking to several of my guy friends who live so far away that it's terrible. What I was telling them that I'm kind of getting bored with Sean. It's not that he's lousy, but it's the same old thing every time. I want a change, maybe for him to do something different such as being more aggressive or doing something that he wanted. I'm not saying that I want this 100% of the time, I just don't want the same thing.

So yesterday I looked on CL. Yes, I wound up doing that. I've found several guys and slowly culling them out. It's kind of neat to find someone that you're looking for. I'm just hoping that one of these guys turn out!

A Stranger?

Yes, I'm finally here. I've been just plain busy. Can you believe that? My internet has been so slow for the past few weeks and I haven't made it to the library for their super wifi.

While everything was actually busy, I was thinking of things to write about. I'm not this expert sex blogger, nor do I really try to. Some people really try to or title themselves as one but I think I have more on my blog then they do. (sorry for the vent)

One of the few things that I wanted to write about was that I don't understand the hype of sex toys. Before Ryan had got me one, I had always wanted one. Now, I'm not saying that he shouldn't have gotten me one. It's just that I think they're overrated. Maybe it's because I'm actually seeing a human being on a regular basis and these people who keep talking about them probably aren't?

So my fingers are still my favorite toy. Who knows, maybe it's just that particular toy itself? Like I said, I can't really complain because it was given to me.

Another thing is that I wish that I knew of a guy that was local. Knowing someone an hour away is sadly getting tiresome. I like the guy (well, not like as in like) but I just wish I knew someone like him that lived closer (my life story).

Thoughts

Today my mom and I went back to the town where I have (in June) moved back from. That's the town where I met S. It was weird not going up there to see him. Since I've moved back home, I tend to go visit him up there every once in awhile. I thought he might be coming down later this week to visit me at work (strange, I know). Well, he had other plans and I was fine with that since I have a Thanksgiving party. It's weird how things sometimes work out.

Don't worry, it's not like I'm pondering the ideas about how or even when I'll spend my time with him. I'm definitely not like that, that's just weird. People who actually do that need to find better things to do.

(Why is this becoming a relationship blog?) I need to be telling you about my actual existent(!) love life. Maybe I need to work at this and it will get better.

Another thing, Dustin Pedroia won the AL MVP!

I'm Back!

I thought I better say something or you all would think I disappeared or joined the CIA. Things around here have gotten a lot better. My grandma's in heaven right now and I know she's watching down on me. The family life is stable, which is a relief.

For you all that bought a SBC 2009 calendar, I have a date in there! I'm going to have to break down and buy one, but who would I give it too? I guess I could sell it on ebay? Maybe they could be nice enough to sign one for me? Guess I should've asked before Friday when everyone was together in New York City (I'm here stuck in the middle of nowhere!) BTW, those girls are very nice and I really want to meet them! You know how some people who would love to be in a calendar are stuck up and wouldn't want to be anyone's friend? Well, that's not how these girls are.

Friday night I went to a ballgame. I'm not a real 'going out' kind of person. A ballgame is fine with me because you'll see people you know and it's really not that expensive. I had a great time and it was great to actually get out of the house.

Yesterday I had to work but last night I went up to see S! He actually wasn't busy or didn't have other unexpected company (like last time). It was great to see him. During the past month really, we both haven't had the time to see each other. You could definitely tell that we needed each other. I didn't know how it would be after not seeing him for awhile, but he's amazing, well second to Mar...hehe, ok I won't let S. know that he's second best. Can we keep this a secret? Afterward, we went in his hot tub. That was the first time I've been in one. Yes, I'm naive. After we got out, I about froze to death! Finally I got warm and we went to go get pizza and then watched the football game.

Ok, I have this ring that's on my right hand. He asked if I was engaged. I told him that I certainly wasn't. Would you guys think if I had a ring on my right hand that I would be engaged? So later I told him that I couldn't believe that he thought I had a boyfriend and then he tells me, 'well, aren't I your boyfriend?' I was shocked and there was dead silence! Then he said, well are we just fb's? I said something which I can't remember and then he said, well your brain doesn't lie. How could someone be your boyfriend if you hardly see them? That has me puzzed!

Confusion

I don't know if any of you have ever gone through this, but what do you do when a fwb/nsa (yes, it can happen) becomes something attached? That's the best that I can explain it.

I'm an honest person. So I told S. about seeing Ryan about a month ago. S. got all jealous but of course said he wasn't jealous but it was noticeable. He just said he was upset. As you all know, s. and my schedule hasn't agreed since the first of August and here it is October. Wouldn't you be happy if your fwb/nsa-person saw someone else when you couldn't be with them?

I'm just worried that he's developing feelings. I've done my best not to as sometimes I typically do (you know how it goes). A friend told me to nicely tell S. that me and him aren't in a situation where he could be my full time boyfriend.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Here I Am

I've been having a small problem with my modem. Yes, I still live in the dino-age of dialup and modems.

This week has been hectic. Our 'company' has been preparing for a festival that was yesterday and then our department had an event on Friday night. So we've been running around like chickens with our heads cut off. And I haven't even been able to watch the playoffs.

Nothing really to report about myself really. No action for me. Earlier I chatted with a friend and told him that I forgot how to kiss and he replied with, we can practice.

My friend k. has a friend-turned-girlfriend. I'm really glad for him. He was hurt by an old friend who had a fling with him that wasn't permanent but this permantcy broke his heart. Why does girls do this? Actually, I've had two guy friends go through this. But anyway, this friend k. is really happy with this girl and like I said, I'm glad. I had the chance to talk to him this week for a second and I told him that I wanted a friend who would hopefully turn into something else, well, even if it didn't go that far. Sometimes you just want that person to be there.

This is the best blog post ever, it's titled, Women and Their Fantasies. Go, go out and read this. Every man and women needs to read this! People, well, men have this certain problem and are really afraid to hurt a woman. You aren't going to hurt a woman. If you do, she will plainly and loudly tell you that you are doing that.

I Did It

I bought a day and you should too! It's only ten dollars for a day! For ten dollars you could:
1. Buy your breakfast and lunch.
2. Buy something from Bath and Body Works.
3. Buy a memory stick (I had to think of something techy).
4. Buy a day on the calendar!

You can even have something put on the date that you buy! What is better than that?

Tomorrow, October 1st is your last day to buy an actual date on the calendar! So do it!

New York City Sex Blogger 2009 Calendar

My theme song

Of All Days

Where I'm from fall is usually summer that's drastically followed by winter, but right now it's sunny and cool. And it's a Monday, meaning I have millions of things to do.

I took my shower this morning and decided to play while I had the whole house to my self. It took a little big longer since I'm just getting used to it, but I came hard three times! Now of course, I feel much better.

Brave

Friday night I went out to see a local band. I happened to run into an old friend. It was so weird, I had saw him a couple weeks ago here, but this time I got the handshake followed by the hug. It was weird. Maybe he's hinting at something? Yeah, I know I'm naive. So I got his number. I had lost it on my old phone, but now I have it again! I also saw Derek. Derek plays in the band. Aren't band guys just hot? No, that wasn't the main reason why I went Friday, but it sure did help.

I was also asked to dance, but I don't dance. I was about to leave and Cinderella's coach was expected at any time. So, if you want to dance with me, you'll have to do it in my kitchen to what ever's on the radio.

Thoughts at Midnight

What else can I do when I can't sleep. I don't do this on purpose, I just can't sleep. I know, more like feel, at any moment that someone will wake up and ask why I'm up this late. I have no clue.

I've looked at nearly every website that's on my laptop. I haven't gone to the blogs yet. Nothing wrong with the good old blogs, but if worse comes to worse, I'll read them. I usually do at other times during the day. There is no one online either. I remember in the old times of the "new" internet, you'd see people up till 4 am. I think we all grew up, or are trying to.

Today was Jack's birthday. Due to cause and effects, we couldn't be together, as typically we never can be. I sound pessimistic, don't I? I don't do the long distance thing very good and I doubt he could either, so that's why we've never officially become official.

But, since it's his birthday I wished that I could be there, as any other day but this would be something special. You'll have to bear with me as I put letters together to form words which finally become sentences. Usually what I write is recaps of what has happened. I've never really written what I hoped would happen. Maybe this will work out.

It was the morning of his birthday. He was going get off work around 8, so I decided to get up a little early, shower and make some breakfast. I had no clue if he needed the breakfast, but I certainly knew that I would for the energy. After breakfast, I decided to make the bed even though shortly it was going to be messed up again. I knew he wouldn't care as much as I did.

After making the bed, I decided to wait lazily on the couch until I heard his truck pull into the driveway. My pussy got tingly every time I heard a truck go down the road, but when it was finally him, my heart started racing. After my morning shower, I just slipped on my favorite robe because I knew it wouldn't be any use to put on any clothes.

This probably sounds so stereotypical, but I waited for him at the door. We had talked about this before, but I really wanted it to happen. Right when the key unlocked the door and opened it, I met him with a big hug and kiss. He was kind of puzzled since I usually never meet him at the door. Our hands roamed all over each others bodies. Mine found his ass and I gave him a tight squeeze. His hand reached for my clit over the robe and the robe accidently came loose. He was surprised and happy to see me without anything under the robe.

After another long and passionate kiss, he firmly told me undress him and I said, yes sir. I pulled off his shirt and then unzipped and unbottoned his pants. As always, I was so happy at what I saw. I put my hand on his cock and began to stroke his cock. Jack told me to go down on him and he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down to his cock. I knew to follow his order or I'd have to face the consequences, but his consequences are hot. (This is probably going to sound so corny and cliche, but please hang with me.) I licked the head of his cock while rubbing toward the base of his cock. I slowly slid his cock into my mouth. I watched his eyes while I did this. He had the biggest smile as I put him all of the way in. I knew he was a pleased guy....well soon he would be. I went slowly but gained speed. I also began to pull on his balls while he was in my mouth. He started to let out loud moans. The sound of him made me even wet than I had been before. He said he was getting closer, so I used all of my energy to suck him. As a surprise, I began to finger his ass. We had done this before, so I knew how much he loved it. Once I began, his moans became louder and I knew at any moment he would come. He loves to cum on me, but I wanted to do it different this time. When his cum was in my mouth, I let him cum in my mouth. It was at the point where it was literally running down my chin. He loved seeing himself all over my face at this point. He got the cum and played with it on my tits and especially my nipples.

With him, there's nothing such as rest, so a few minutes later, we were walking in the living room when all of the sudden, I was pushed over the side of the couch. I should've known, but was surprised, in a good way. He whispered in my ear about how I've been a bad girl while he wss away at work. Partly it was true. I had gotten myself off a few times while he was away. All of the sudden I felt him enter my pussy. The feeling of his large cock was amazing but then a little painful, but the pain was soon gone. He told me he was going to fuck me until I was a good girl. When he said that, he pulled my hair back with one hand while the other spanked my ass. There had only been a few times that he had been this rough with me. My ass was getting red and sore from all of the spanking. At one point, he put a few fingers roughly in my ass. He could clearly hear me moaning his name. His fingers found my clit. This guy knows how to rub my clit, maybe it's because I taught him how to get me off with his fingers. I told him that I was very close and at that moment, I came. That must have turned him on because at that moment, he felt him hold onto me as he came also.

We staggered to the couch and laid in each others arms. We needed this so much even though we regularly get together. We napped for a bit before we were at it again. After everything, he said this was the best birthday he's had so far.

(I had started writing this last night when I couldn't sleep, but then continued this evening.)

Never Let Me...

Make plans. I was supposed to meet Sean on Wednesday but of all things, I got my period. For some people, they wouldn't care if I had it or not, but me and him aren't those type of people. I'm not saying I wouldn't do that, but I'd have to be really comfortable. So, our typical every other week situation has been turning out to be a once a month thing. I don't really know what to think about this, really. Maybe it's just a stumbling point or headed towards the end. The distance does offer a problem.

I had something on my mind, but strangely it's gone now.

I've been a bad girl, I've only used my new toy only once since seeing Ryan. I need to do it more when I'm able to. I guess that will be my resolution from here on out.

One thing that I like to do is to read other peoples blogrolls. I bet some people have their favorite blogs on their 'favorites' but for some reason I don't and I think it is because I like to run into some new and unread blogs. These new discoveries are pretty cool because some people tend to write like others. So, if you see me at your blog, that's probably how I got there.

Thinking

I finally got off! Last night I was too exhausted to. Yep, I should've not let that happen! I was thinking, that the last time was Sunday or Monday night.

One thing I hate being asked is, 'what were you thinking about?' I think the guy (well, that's usually who it is), will think and hope that I'm thinking about them. Clearly, I have no idea what I'm thinking about. My mind's probably thinking about something but the time that everything is over, the thought has cleared my mind. Weird, I know. So, if you are ever tempted to ask, well you know what my answer will be.

A Thought

So, I did something I never have done that before. I thought of Jack when I was with Ryan. Weird, I know. I just can't believe I done that.

So I...

I'm one happy girl. :D

My friend Ryan came up here at the spur of the moment. Aren't those the best times? No time to really plan anything extravagent.

I was sitting in Starbucks when he said he had arrived at his hotel. He asked if there was a book store nearby and I told him that there was one in the shopping center that was across the street from him. I walked in after him and then I got his attention. He was looking for a better road map and we couldn't find one.

When we got to the room, we just laid there talking. I was tired from a long day in town and he from travelling. We had talked previously about toys and he brought some! For the past few year I have been toyless, if you can believe that.

At some point, we started kissing and I reach for his hardness that's underneath his shorts. He pulled off his shorts and I started sucking his cock. It was amazing to suck his cock. I can't explain it. He gets the dildo out. As I've never had one, I was really excited about it. He fucked me first and then turned the vibration onto my clit. This time was even better then the last time we were together. I know he agreed to that too.

He loved watching me do myself. There was a strategically placed mirror that he watched. No, it wasn't the mirror on the ceiling. Another funny thing, we aren't exhibitionist but he had turned on the ac when we first got there. We hadn't noticed until after the first time, that the air had blown the curtain open. I told him that I had saw one truck but didn't see the other truck before. Hopefully no one saw anything.

We decided to use the butt plug. I was a little nervous about it. Wouldn't you? I tried it first, but then I let him do the work. He also used the new toy in my pussy. Still, I can't explain the feeling of it. He did it for awhile and then I told him that I wanted him in my ass. I asked him if he had done anal before and he said only once before. He thought I had only done it in DC, but told him that I've done it several more times with Sean. His cock felt great. He knew how much I wanted him to cum on my tits. First we started off with a little bit of titty fucking. I loved feeling his cock on my tits. It's just hot. Then he started jerking off. I put the toy in my pussy and started to rub my clit. I thought I was never going to get off nor did he, but when I came, he also did. We were exhausted!

No Patience Whatsoever

I don't intend this blog to be a blog about romance. Well, I guess that could fall into the etc. part of this particular blog.

Those of you who know me that I have this friend who lives halfway across the country. We met in 2005 on craigslist when I was at this way boring internship in my hometown. We talked for a few months mainly through email and then we drifted apart. Then last October or the later part of September, he shows up on my instant messenger. We got to know each other again. He's a sweet guy with the greatest sense of humor.

It's just one of those things where you hope you'll get together but the chances of that happening aren't likely. That's what's driving me crazy. Yes, I know that patience makes the heart grow fonder. But, I just can't stand it. I have no patience.

Maybe this is what those teenagers go through. I for one never was boy crazy. As you know, boys aren't that special around here, so there weren't many to choose from. I just focused on other things like school. I'm not a nerd or anything although I did win top senior in the acedemic bowl. :-D

Remember When?

I'm pretty much a late bloomer although I don't typically state that when I'm talking to someone. I'm just not that way. Anyway, I miss those days of vanilla. I miss talking about what position was the best or what turned us on the most. I guess once you're past those questions, then you move onto more darker and kinkier things. But I'm wondering, can you ever come back? I'm not saying that I want vanilla all the time, but I definitely don't want the other stuff all the time either. Maybe it could be 50/50 and I'd be satisfied with that. As I've told others, I'm afraid I'll eventually marry someone who is 100% vanilla, that's my fear.

I also have a crazy vent/thought...can you disappoint someone that you haven't even met? As you know, this place where I live isn't swarming with men, so I talk to plenty online. I have the great ability of weeding out the losers from the non-losers.

All Smiles

I got to see him! I finally did. :-D He said that I disappeared, but I think we both did that.

I met him at the door for the longest kiss possible. His hands went all over my body as did mine on his. He moved my hand down to his cock and I felt his hardness under his jeans. He quickly unzipped my jeans and rubbed my clit and eventually fingered my pussy with his fingers.

We took off our clothes and then I got on my knees...something that I had been wanting to do for several weeks. He kept asking how much I loved his cock and how I hadn't had one to suck on for a long time. He reached down and pinched my nipples. That felt amazing!

He told me to get up and he was laying on the bed. I was on my knees sucking his cock very deep. This was the deepest that I've sucked his cock before. He reached down and was still playing with my nipples. That made me suck him harder and faster. I rose up and started kissing him, that's when he rolled me onto my back. He started to bite and pull on my nipples even harder than ever before. About that time he asked me how much I missed his cock and I replied to him, that's all I've thought about for the past couple of weeks. Before he entered me, he played with my clit and then stuck his fingers in my mouth. Once he was in me, it felt amazing. I know I use that word a lot, but it was fantastic! Words really can't describe it. You probably know what I mean. I could really tell how much we missed each other. As he says, we're getting better every time we're together.

Afterwards we visited, about the things we've done since we last saw each other. I think he's going to come over some weekend. I'm really excited about that.

Excitement or Lack Thereof

I've probably had that same title before, but I'll use it again. I got tired of leaving comments and having the same 2 week old post title, so I thought I needed something different.

It seems like all of the guys I've been running into online have been dominant and I haven't ran into one in real life. Well, let me put it this way, the ones in real life will say they are but when push comes to shove, they aren't. So, I'm wondering if any really exist in real life? You're probably reading this (if you are a guy) and saying, well, I'm that way and I'm real. Maybe I'm just doubting this because I'm not getting any period. ha ha

I'm also thinking about how it is to be submissive. Yes, it's a real turn on, but I've yet to really experience it. I'm just afraid (yes, I know I'm not supposed to be afraid), that I'll totally freak out. I know I need to get over that. I also know that the big thing is that I need to be with someone that I totally trust and don't want to be in that situation with anyone. Ya know?

Oh, another thing, I wish I could find someone local that wouldn't be so vanilla. Vanilla can be great, but I want someone totally different. You know how that is, well, I need to find that certain person. CL or AFF are totally out of the picture. If you only knew where I lived, then you would know what I mean. Plus, I'm from a very small town and if I told anyone about finding someone like this, I could basically pin a large 'A' on my shirt, literally or everybody in the town would know about me. You all think you have it bad in a big city, but just think about us where everybody knows out name?

I *think* I'm going to see S. tomorrow. Yes, I know I should be shouting it from the rooftops, but I still pessimistic about this whole situation. He's cancelled twice, which was week before last and the week before that. I know I shouldn't be that way, but when the other person's like that, you start getting that way. By the way, my whole world doesn't revolve around him, so it's not like I'm planning my non-existant plans around him. I just had to make that clear.

Dang, not getting any certainly helps you think about what you want, afraid of and need.

After thinking about this post, it probably came off as thinking that I'm whiny and can't make up my mind. I certainly can tell you that I'm not that way.

News

Today is a new day and it was much better than yesterday. I didn't think that I would hear from Jack but he did im me. He thought that I would be mad at him instead of the other way around. We just agreed that we would have to wait until the time is right to see each other even though we want each other right now. I'm really glad that we agree on that.

But besides that, this week seems like it will be the longest ever. The way my schedule is, I don't know when I'll see S. (that's an every day vent).

I need an amazing excuse to get away. Maybe to DC? Oh the fun I'd have there.

Endings

Nothing exciting has been occurring in the personal life of mine. I've been enjoying my days off and working on art projects. I think the main reason is that I told Jack that I just wanted to be platonic friends. You see, he's in this certain situation that's kind of Springer like. I doubt he'll want to talk to me for now. I put up with his situation for so long and had enough. Although, it may be my pms doing the talking.

I'm working on another blog too. It's a craft/gardening/baking/everything except sex blog. If you really want to know what it is, then email me and I'll give you the address.

I'm hoping (as always) to see S. next week! I haven't emailed him yet to see what his schedule looks like. It always seems that his and my schedules don't always go together. It's when I'm not busy, he's busy and vice versa. Oh the fun I'm going to have with him when I finally get to see him. The last email that he sent, he said that he definitely wanted us to get each other off. I hope he wants me as much as I want him.

This weekend I was talking to my friend Ryan. He thinks he might come up here for a long weekend. Before you start thinking, it sounds like she's getting it a lot, well you're wrong. I wish it was true, but it ain't. I'm crossing my fingers he'll get to come up here! I haven't saw him since last (07) March.

Changing the subject. This sounds corny but the bosox were in a no hitter last night and we were trying to break the no hitter that the chisox had. Someone had a rally cap on and that didn't work, so I went back into the living room and told my parents to do 'the wave' even though there were 3 of us. It actually worked! We broke the no hitter! The bosox wound up winning. :D

Who Wouldn't Want to Be Him?

Jed Lowrie Dark T-Shirt
Buy this product at CafePress
Designed by Whiskey Tees

I saw this tshirt on CafePres.com. It's so funny. The reason I think it's funny is that I said when Lowrie came up to Boston, I bet he got the girls by saying, "I play for the Red Sox." You know the girls wouldn't always believe that from a guy like Lowrie. Lowrie isn't a showoff, he just does his job.

News to Me

Today I received some exciting news. S. didn't go on his trip! I sent him a very short email yesterday asking when he'd be back from his trip and he replied that he didn't go and he'll see me next week. I was a very happy girl.

As you know, last week, we weren't exactly able to meet and I was kind of bummed, but this news made it all better.

News

I don't want this to be a place to vent, so I won't do it. I'll leave that to my more vanilla blog. I don't want to bother you people with my nonsense.

I haven't saw S. this week. I had plans on Monday but they were changed and then they fell through. It was too late because he emailed me back saying that he already had plans. I asked about today or tomorrow and he never emailed me back. He's probably too busy anyway. He's going on vacation next week, so I bet he's trying to get things finished.

I'm thinking about strictly being friends with Jack. I know it's crazy to say we were more than just friends, but I want to be platonic friends. A friend told me that things will eventually work out, but I don't want to think about the future right now.

Bad Man added me to his blogroll! I'm super excited about that. If anybody visits by the way of his blog, please leave a comment!

I miss Jefferson's blog. I think everyone does. I miss the way he writes and his adventures that some of us will never experience. I hope that he does comeback to blogging.

I need to post more for HNT. That's my first day of work during the week, so that day usually gets busy. Maybe I can store up some pics and then post them.

Guess what, since I live in the land of dinosaur dialup, we're getting DSL. Yep, that's correct. Maybe when we do, I'll turn on the cam. I ain't guaranteeing anything, but there may be a chance.

Slumps

There's no slump involving me, but there's one involving the Red Sox. What is up with them? First of all, we need a whole new bullpen. I think the lineup needs to be shifted, in some other direction maybe. Of course, I'm just a fan and I'm not running things, so I'm just making suggestions.

Vacations

It's been a week and I'm horny as ever. Especially since yesterday. All I kept thinking about was S's cock inside of me and how amazing he felt.

I think all of this was from not being able to play for a few days. I was on vacation in Colorado and Wyoming for a few days earlier this week. I had an great time and I really needed some time away from the boringness that is home.

Last night was my first night back and I was finally able to get off. Of course, I rubbed myself a little and then fell asleep. Thankfully I woke up a little earlier then I was supposed to and got off a couple times before I got dressed for work.

Since I was thinking about S. I emailed him to see if we could get together on Monday even though it's probably way too early to tell. He only replied with 'maybe.' Hopefully that 'maybe' will turn into 'certainly.'

Butterflies and Long nights

Who watched the all star game last night? I stayed up until about 12:30 cst, which was the 14th inning. I kep dozing off and knew the next time that I would fall asleep for good. The game actually lasted until the 15th inning when the American League ran in a run. JD Drew won the MVP award for the game. This was actually the first all star game I've watched in a few years, maybe even like 3 years. They just got boring, with the same players, etc. But this time it was a great game.

Today was the day to meet Sean. I had totally forgot to check my email this morning to see if he had to cancel. So I was driving around trying to find a wifi hotspot and I finally found one! The good thing was that there wasn't an email from him, that was a relief!

So I got to our place, took a shower and then waited around to call him to give him the room number. He was at worked and he didn't sound the same. Later I would find out that he was busy. I teased him and told him that he sounded different and I was hoping that I called him instead of someone else. He had mentioned that he had a big surprise for me. My mind raced with what that surprise could be. I started to get nervous because I thought he might have invited his friend that he mentioned to me before. He hasn't really mentioned him again, but you never know what he will have up his sleeve.

I opened the door and let him in. I think we immediately started kissing. His hand went up the front of my shirt and he held me tight with his other arm. I lifted my tit out of my bra and squeezed it hard. We were still kissing at this moment with his tongue inside of my mouth. He then lifted my skirt and his hand found its way inside my panties. He fingered me and quickly found my gspot.

He told me that he had to take his clothes off. He took his shorts off and I got on my knees. He knows how much I love going down on him. I sucked on him until he told me to take my clothes off. He sat on the side of the bed while I knelt in front of him and took my time putting all of him inside my mouth.

S. sat back up and lifted me up by my arms and layed me on my side. We kissed some more and he continued to finger my pussy. He asked me if it was time for his cock and I definitely wanted it. I told him yes and he entered me. His cock feels amazing inside of me. He thrusted inside me a few times until he pulled out and then went inside my ass. Now, that felt good but I told him that I wanted it in my pussy again, so he said he would again. This time he lifted my legs over his shoulders. S. was inside me and I told him that I wanted him from behind. We had never done that position, so I turned me over and I got on all fours. We both came.

Afterwards we were talking about the vacations that we took and other things. He said that I seemed happy and it wasn't just about the amazing sex that we just had. He knew that I liked my job and being back at home. Oh, I did ask him what the big surprise was and I guessed, "was it you?" and he said yes it was. I think that was the best surprise.

Excitement or Lack there of

I don't know if you guys have to seem energetic or excited to be energetic or excited? I'll explain, I emailed S. earlier in the weekend to see if we could get together in the middle of this week. It typically goes like this, I name a day and he give me a time. So we did both and I guess I didn't seem to thrilled or enthusiastic about the time. I seriously was, but I guess the tone didn't seem like it.

So he said, "300pm. You don't seem very excited. I guess you aren't horny or wet."

I then replied with, "I was and still am excited about seeing you. 3:00pm sounds great!"

Being a guy, S. send me back this message, "how about wet and horny".

I had to put a little more effort in this and told him, "When I get off, I think of your cock inside me and that makes me really wet and even more horny. I can't wait."

A then-happy S. replies back, "Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hopefully everything between us will work out and there won't be anything that comes up between now and then.

Seriously, every time lately that I get off, I've been thinking of him. I know the last time that we were together, it was spectacular, but he had some personal things going on. Hopefully he's refreshed from his vacation and seriously needing some, like I am right now.

Sweeps and Cancellations

As you know, the Sox were swept by the Rays. The Sox were just in a slump, a midseason slump so you could say. Tonight they played great against the Yankees and Lester had a shutout against them.

As for my personal life, I emailed Sean yesterday to see if we could get together soon and he gave me Friday morning. I didn't know if that meant Friday as in tomorrow or next Friday. I didn't ask, but I knew either way, I couldn't make it. Hopefully something will work out for us soon.

Probably some of you are thinking that I should find someone more available and more local. Well, I hope that would happen to and maybe it will.

I've been so busy the last week that I haven't even had time to write anything down. I had orientation for my new job. I was afraid I wouldn't know anybody in orientation but my best friend and also my cousin was in there, so it wasn't bad. We all had to suffer through it together.

It's funny, the week before I see Sean, I'm desperately wanting him. Well this time, he's on vacation and won't be back until the end of the month. So, here I am keeping myself company. Isn't that horrible? I guess Sean will just have to make it all up when I see him next.

Yesterday I had to work but I caught the last innings of the Sox and Cards game. I would love to have been there. My heart goes to the Sox, but the Cards just play good baseball as we could have clearly seen yesterday. The poor Sox lost. I think this is their second time to lose a series at home. Maybe today they can turn that around and win.

FYI

I'm sitting here right out of the shower. Still in my robe. I bet you wish you were here. Don't ya?

Absence

My random and few readers have probably been wondering where that girl that knows her baseball and barely her fantasy's are. I've been just so busy on my mini-vacation. Thursday my mom and I took a day trip on the train.

The only exciting news in my love life department(or lack thereof) is that last Tuesday I got to see Sean! Yes, the one and only who rocks my world. The funniest thing, we were supposed to meet at 3:00, but he was already there when I got there and that was about 20 'til. We were both ready to see each other. It seemed forever that we hadn't saw each other, it was about 4 or 5 weeks, which is way too long.

We did the usual, kissing and our hands roaming all over each others bodies. It's always one of those things were you don't know exactly when your clothes came off. I already had my shirt and bra off, and I went over to him. He was undoing his jeans. I went over and kissed him and grab a hold of his cock. He unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and jammed his finger inside me. I love when he does that. I continued to stroke him. He also sucked and bit on my nipples, which feels wonderful.

The next thing he did was lay me on the bed. He continued to finger and kiss me. He kept asking about the times I had gotten off while thinking about him. He asked if I squirted when I did and I told him no. He thinks I do, but I never have when I've gotten myself off. He continued to occasionally bite my nipples

He told me that it was time to fuck me. I love it when he says that. We were doing it missionary and very fast and hard. I don't know why, but it was too hard, so I had him slow down and then when it was right, I told him harder. He asked me if I wanted it in my ass and I told him no, I said no, I want it in my pussy. Usually, I have no choice in where his cock will be. Maybe he knew that I've missed him so much, that this time he gave me a choice. He came and stayed in me while we talked about what I had been up to for the month. He's been going through a hard time, so I didn't want to mention any of those things. You know, it's awkward sometimes to do that. He mentioned the next time we'll meet. This probably wasn't the best that we've had, but you know, everything can't be great all the time. He's going on vacation, so I'll sadly see him either at the end of the month or probably at the first of the month. He knows that I'll keep myself occupied by thinking of him while I get off.

Simple Pleasures

Last night I was talking to a friend saying that I would simply love to makeout with someone. It seems like it has been forever since I kissed someone. I miss that. Hopefully someday soon I'll kiss the best kisser since umm...I ain't saying. ;-)

Of All Days

I haven't really talked to my personal life and I don't want to, that's what the vanilla blog is all about. Tomorrow is my last day of work here and I'm moving back home. Yes, that will be tough on my non-existent love life there.

It's kind of bittersweet. I'll miss the independence and the almost availability of men but I missed my family. Does that make sense?

So I've been tying up loose ends and sending out emails saying where I'm going. I just hate not telling people that and then later they'll think I'm still here.

One of those people was Sean. I emailed him and told him for the second time where I was working. I think he's had a rough couple past weeks. So hopefully one day next week I can come up here and see him. I told him that I would email him on Sunday and let him know what my plans are. Sean said that he couldn't wait to be inside me again. Like I said before, he's one amazing man.

Embarassments

Ok, you all know that I'm a shy and quiet girl. Now of all times, I'm embarassed. I was looking at someones blog who had a link to youporn. I clicked on that, then I couldn't hear anything, so I turned up the volume more, then all the sudden the sound got louder and I couldn't turn the volume down. I was literally running around my room trying to get the volume down. Finally did and by that time I was shaking from nervousness. Hopefully the a/c and tv drowned out the sound. I know people watch it but I don't want it widely known that I happened to do it, especially after we told this girl that was looking at my soon-to-be-vacant-room about my roommates porn viewing. Gosh, I'm just embarassed. I think we've all been in this situation. A friend told me not to think about it, but I can't help but to think about it. Since I'm hoping that all kinds of other sounds drownded out the p0rn sounds, I went to get some water to take some medicine and I heard one of my roommates up. Hopefully she's not on the phone to her boyfriend explaining what she heard.

Anyway, if she does mention it, she doesn't really have any room to talk because I heard her once (winces) with her latest ex boyfriend.

Wish me luck as I hide under this rock.

Half Naked Friday

On Thursdays, I'm too busy to post any pictures. I hope you enjoy it. It's not the best but I took it with the cam on my laptop. Enjoy.

Emails

Yesterday I had someone ask me to post Jack and I's IM chats. My message archive is all messed up. So, I'll post our email from today. I doubt that I'd ever do this, but just use your imagination.

him: how is work going
me: Pretty quiet in here. I hope I don't fall asleep. (I was being sarcastic)
him: too bad i wasnt there...to check out a book...lol
me: Uh, sure. :P
him: it would let me whisper something in the ear of the naughty librarian..
me: Oh really?
him: yeah i would tell her how hot she looks...and the things i want to do to her
me: Mmmmmmm.
him: maybe come up close enough behind her so she could feel my hardness brush against her ass
him: Then i'd feel of you.
him: then i might brush my hand on the side of your tit
me: My nipples would probably be hard by then...
him: then maybe i would ask for help in a quiet back corner
him: Ok, I'd ask you what you needed help with
him: as soon as i had you there i would start feeling up your tits
me: Mmmmmmm.
him: while you licked your hand then stuck it down my pants
me: Wow, that's very hot.
him: we would try to be quiet
me: Yes we would.
him: it would be hard..very hard
me: mmmmmm.
him: till i pumped cum all over your hand
me: That would be hot.
him: yeah ..shooting a big load of cum into your hands while i finger you and rub your tits
me: mmmmmm.

Yes, I know I said I had a whole lot of mmmm's. I was at work and had to look busy and not like I was chatting through email.

A Figment of My Imagination

Last night when I was reading my book, I was thinking of Sean. Yes, I know that's weird. The book doesn't even have anything to do with him or our 'thing.' Maybe I was just missing him.

I thought about his kisses. He kisses perfectly. We always greet each other with fantastic kisses. Our hands all over each others clothes. He slips his hand underneath my shirt and unclasps my bra. His hands move forward and lifts my shirt up and moves his mouth onto my nipples. He sucks and bites onto the hardened nipple. I moan with each bite. Then he moves back up to kiss me very hard.

In the meantime somewhere, our clothes disappear and he's already hard. I think I have everything off except my panties. He makes me lay on the bed and slips off my panties. I have no idea what he'll want next but he motions me to suck on his cock. His cock is amazing, I'd say amazing but you'd probably get jealous. There have been plenty of times where I just laid on the bed sucking his cock until he had enough and wanted my pussy.

This is the hazy part. All I remember him getting some lube, so that meant anal. For the past week before, I had needed him inside my pussy, but what was I going to say? We both needed it. With the first few thrusts inside me, it was comfortable once again. I think he has been the roughest, both ways, since I don't know...but his way of rough is amazing.

Afterwards, our conversations are always great. Each time, I learn a little about him and he learns the same from me. I like that, maybe because I'm such a private person. He loves to kid me about my hometown because he's this big city guy. I did forgive him because he called me spoiled.

Way Behind

Sorry I haven't posted much, I've been hanging around with the parental units.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he asked how I was doing. I told him that I had been tired and needed a nap, but didn't have the time take one. What is the best substitute for that? Well, it doesn't take that much time and afterwards, it feels like you've been asleep for two hours.

This all took place in a hospital parking lot. I was facing towards the street, not within the other aisles of cars, so it was more discrete. I was listening to my music and had to stop every once in awhile to make sure no one was around. The least amount of sound made me stop and look. I had my jean jacket over me like a blanket. I came the first time really hard and then the 2nd and 3rd times were just about the same. I have no clear idea what I was thinking about. It probably had something to do with Jack. :-) I waited for awhile in the car afterwards, so I wouldn't be all given out. I made the mistake one time of getting out of bed too early after that and then making brownies and I kept wondering why I was so tired.

Now I can say this was the strangest place I've ever gotten off. I bet some people have more exicting places, but this was mine.

~~~

Last night we watched John Lester pitch a no hitter! It was amazing. We were afraid that my stepdad would jinx the poor pitcher. He had jinxed Buckholtz a couple months ago when he was pitching in Tampa Bay. Right after he realized he didn't have any hits, what do you know, someone hit off of him!

Jack

After work, I came home and got on the computer. I was wasting time really and then Jack popped up on my screen. We had met online about three years ago and then he came back around in September or October. He had said that he had went online one day and here I was. I've desribed him to someone as a guy that is great not only in bed but out of it. Not only would he satisfy me needs but he has a sarcastic but cute sense of humor. I know he would love reading all of these things about him (wouldn't most guys?).

The reason that we haven't gotten together is because he works crazy hours and also lives thousands of miles away (as usual). The last time we had spoken was in February. Then on Monday or Tuesday, here he shows up again. He said from February to now, his life has been a complete mess, I've described it on my vanilla blog, but don't really want to get into it on here. But, if you're nosey, just let me know.

In the past we're talked about all the things that we both want. He has a larger than average sized cock and the girls that he's been with in the past have been prude(so he says) or couldn't handle his size. I definitely told him that I could handle him. He still asks me if I can, mostly to get that confidence a guy needs. I told him that I would definitely go down on him all of the time. I told him that he wouldn't even have to ask for it and I would do that. I don't think a girl has ever told him that. He said that he had never gotten off in front of a girl either. Poor guy.

Today began with him telling me that I always change his mood when I'm talking with him. I asked him if he still worked crazy hours and he said that he still did and that he needs to take a vacation out here. He said he would. Jack said he was flattered that I still liked him although what happened and I said definitely. He said I had an effect on him and I had no clue what that effect was and he said that I turned him on when I said that.

Way back when, we had talked about Las Vegas and he said he had never been. That town is like my second home. I reminded him of the Absolut Suites at Caesar's Palace(I think). He said we'd spend the whole three days in bed and wouldn't need gambling money.

I told him that I would love to be on my knees right now and he said that he needed that too. Still he loves that I actually want to go down on him (will that ever get old?). He asked if I still think about going down on him. I told him yes and that I still think of our fantasy meeting him at the door and then kissing him and then once the door was shut, I would go down on him. Then he said, I'd call him Mr. 'S'(a turn on for him).

He told me by that time that I had him hard. In return, I told him that I wanted to get fucked by him and he said he wanted to fuck me with his cock. I told him when he said that, it made me soaking wet. Jack said that he wanted to taste my wetness, but before he'd fuck me he'd lick and suck me until I was aching for him.

I couldn't wait to feel him inside me. Jack told me he'd put himself deep inside me until I'm so full of him and grind against him. I asked him if he would still cum on me and he said of course he would. He said anyway I would get him off that it would all be on me.

I told him that I couldn't wait to get my own place so that he could come over and we could be as loud as we wanted to be. He said that he has a tendancy to be really loud.

He's still worried that it will be uncomfortable when I go down on him. I know that it may be at first, but I will get used to it.

He said that the last time he got off was 2 days ago after we had last talked. After thinking about it, we didn't even talk anything other than our lives. Maybe he was thinking about something in the past that we talked about. I told him that I had also got off that day by having phone sex with someone. He thought that was hot. He had said that he hadn't had that before.

Jack is definitely one of those people you wished didn't live so far away. Hopefully this summer we can finally meet.

Who Needs Him?

I give a special thanks to my friend Robert. We just had amazing phone sex. We were phone sex regulars years and years ago. I got busy with nothing and he did the same and we just grew apart. I think he's the best at it. You might say you're better but he truly is. :-)


I hadn't got off since Wednesday. I desperately needed it! I told him that I feel 800 times better. I didn't get off this weekend because I was at my parents and was busy plus didn't have the privacy.

Zip

I have no news really.

I called Sean to see if he could meet today, but he's sick. So that's it. Maybe later in the week. Let's all cross our fingers.

I've tried CL, but CL guys are flakey and sketchy at the same time. If you post twice, you'll probably get the same replies from the same people. Seriously.

Guess I'll have to take care of the job myself.

On the other hand, I talked to an old friend online who went awol back in February. He lives a long ways away, so I don't even know really the chances of us actually getting together are. He seems that he would be amazing, not only in bed but as boyfriend (I'm not jumping ahead of myself, well that far). He told me what was happening in his life and I told him about mine. I told him that I wasn't mad that we had parted ways. I hope to hear from him more often now and then let you know what we're talking about. I know he wouldn't mind, it would probably turn him on.

No Privacy

Since I've been 'home' a lot, I haven't had the privacy that I need and want. I'm going to figure out how to get some alone time. Since I don't have any privacy, it makes me grumpy. Who wants to be around a grumpy me? I wouldn't.

I so wish I could find a fwb (if you don't know that acronym, google it) around here. There is a lack of men around here, no explanation needed. Maybe I'll run into someone. Wish me luck!

Unsexy

I'm just feeling unsexy. Don't you hate that? Maybe things will change soon.

So, I'll talk about baseball.

I had an exciting weekend of watching baseball. I went home Saturday and watched plenty of it. That was a perfect mini-vacation. :)

That probably leads you to ask me if I like the players themselves. I don't know if they're my 'type'. I don't have a type, although I do have a thing for blonds (maybe it's because we're all brunettes around here). Lots of people ask me if I like cowboys. Seriously, I really don't. They're too conceided, oh and they don't make much either (that sounds shallow.oops).

Is It OK?

I was sitting here feeling my tits and they feel oh so good. I definitely wish someone else other than I were doing that.

Still no word from S. It drives me crazy in the last few days of the two week period. Maybe me and him can get together next week. Guess I'll just be taking care of it myself. :)

End of the Week News

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Jon and suddenly told him that I had to get off, literally. So, i went in my room and turned on the tv to have some background noise. I'm so used to going in my room and laying on my bed and slipping my hand underneath my shorts and panties. I hadn't got off all week since I was on my period, but I just had to.

My fingers felt cool on my clit. Sometimes guys ask me what I think of when I get off, hoping that I say that I'm thinking of them. It's not true. I can't concentrate on anything or I won't get off. My mind wanders over everything, it's probably a part of relaxation. Since I was home alone, I got to breath and moan very heavily. The first orgasm was incredible. I think there were 3 or 4 afterwards. I just couldn't quick. Usually 3 is my limit, but oh it felt so great that I didn't want to stop. I think there was another time after or to the near end of my period, where I couldn't get completely off but I think it was close to 6 or 7, but I couldn't complete it and it was just till the sensation was too intense.

No news yet from my friend about this weekend, I'm going that something will happen.

Jon

Right now I'm talking to my friend Jon. He's all the way on the East Coast, go figure. He chats at work, so we have to do it in a code. I think it would be only understood between ourselves.

I've been dying for doggy style. Then Jon said in both my pussy and ah. I of course said yes. He's always horny as I am or even more and he said that he could hear the wet slapping noises. I then told him that I wanted his fingers inside me. I don't know why he asked, but he asked how many or where. He should know by know, that he doesn't even have to ask. Then he said he'd tie me up and his soccer team would be involved, withe me being the party toy. He asked how many I could handle. I think if I'm blindfolded, I really have no say. I'm surprised he's even asking me the questions.

I really doubt this will really happen. We've tried to get together atleast twice, but nothing has worked out. Even if it hasn't, Jon has taught me a lot about myself.

Wishes

Last night I was talking to my friend, 'k.' I was telling him that I was going crazy because I was so horny. It's that time of the month, this week.

me: when i was at the library, i was thinking about sean
k: hehehe, you were, huh;)hehehe, you were, huh ;)
me: uh huh:D
k.: Wet? :x
me: sorta
k.: Heheheh, is there any place in library you can let him fuck you? laugh
me: probably;you know he is a professor...
k.: Hahaha, there's always his office then!
me: well i don't think he has one since he's a dr. too
k.: Hehehe, OK. Well, still, he must have some access to some private rooms, even some beds!
me: lol
k.: Hey, you know I speaketh the truth! :D
me: yes you do;he has a boat...
k.: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, nice.
How about boat fucking, under the night starry sky ;)
me: :D
k.: Nice, eh ;)
You scream into the ocean while being fucked hard ;)
me: mmmmmmmmmmmm

I emailed Sean this morning, hoping that we can get together sometime this weekend. I'm staying up here this weekend, well most of the weekend that is. There's a million things I'd love to do to him and of course, a million that I'd want done to me. I love feeling his cock inside me. He definitely knows how to fuck.

The New Season

The other day, I was talking about my favorite baseball teams. Yes, I said teams. Good baseball teams are generally good to watch. I might not keep up 100% with every team, but generally know what is going on. By knowing who plays where, it lets me know how is the best off of the paper.







The Red Sox rule in our household. Actually, I liked them way before the others did, but now they're fanatics. They actually have a strong minor league system which contributes to their success at the major league level.

The Cardinals are an outstanding National League Central Division team. Who wouldn't enjoy a Sunday afternoon watching them? They both work and play hard.

This is to be continued....

Friends

Yesterday I was talking about the person that I'm 'seeing.' I was going through my old voice mail messages and had one from him. We were supposed to get together one weekend and he asked if I had a friend that was 'like me' for his friend who also had the weekend free. I sadly told that him that I didn't have any friends 'like me.' I guess some girls do know how their friends are, but not me. I'm one to keep that to myself.

I don't think I've really told anyone who I really am. In high school, I was a prude. Seriously.
I didn't get my first kiss until I was a few months shy of my 21st birthday. I also gave my first blow job then. Reading Cosmo really did help. The first time I got spanked was when I was 23 in DC, oh yeah that's the same age I also lost my virginity in DC. More things have happened but I'm not going to let all of the details come out at once.

Right now I'm reading Belle de Jour's archives. Yes, I know I should be working on other things.
I finished reading it last night. When I can, I'm going to get both books. I would love to get the British version instead of the American version with 'our' slang.

In a Situation

I've been seeing someone lately. I'll just say that. We don't have an exact word for our situation and usually those "words" are so cliche that they sound cheesey. All I can say it's better than a boyfriend because I don't have to worry about letting him know where I am or who I'll be with. I guess we've saw each other for about two or three months off and on. Off and on is very good because I don't want to be tied down...well in that case it would be literally.

So far, with him, I've had anal for the 2nd and 3rd time, both which have been great. I'm so relieved that this person actually knows how to do it instead of thinking that they do and it turns out that they don't even know what they're talking about.

I'll probably see him next week and I'm already wishing that the week would hurry up and get here fast. I bet he's thinking the same thing.

*********

This is going to sound like I'm a groupie, but I'm a total Sex Blog Roundup fan. I know I'll never grace the covers of that site, but hey, I'll just read them. I like it when certain people(ie Jefferson and Madeline) pick out the blogs, then theres some people who read the same blogs that I do and it's the same thing that I have just read. Don't you hate that! Expecting something new and rare and then it's something that you've read before.

**********

So this afternoon/evening I saw someone online that I hadn't seen in a while. He lives in this town and I told him that we should get together soon. He said he couldn't then but could later. Well, I went to the school to study and then waited around until he said he would call. Did he? Of course he didn't. I'm 0 for 2 in this town. How come it seemed that when I didn't live here, that this town was swarming with men but when I get here, there isn't any? Sorry for the vent, I just hate losers.

A Non-Breakfast Breakfast

I'm proud to announce that, I was and still am the 'Carmen' that Marcus writes about in this specific blog post. Here is a part of the post and the link to his blog.

how anyone named carmen can have a “naïve hick life” eludes me. but she says, “my exotic name? it’s random, just like me.” whatever - just shut up, bitch, and roll over.

ok - i actually thought when she contacted me from 1300 miles away, and said that she wanted to meet, that we would probably have a good time messing around - but i didn't expect the OTHER side. i didn’t expect that she would be so sweet. or so interesting. or have such sexy hair. or be so much fun to hang out with.

so i can’t objectify her, really. wait a second. sure, i can. anyway, here’s her take on our time together. i’ll let her tell it. girl’s got an interesting writing voice...

A Non-Breakfast Breakfast

New Beginnings

Here I am writing my very first non-vanilla blog. It tooks years to finally do this. I had stumbled on my very first sex blog about 4 years ago. Then I had stumbled upon Jefferson's right after I had got back from DC.

I thought I would combine my favorite two things, sex and baseball. Those two things make me happier than anything else.

DC was a learning experience, for sure. I had always lived in a place where you couldn't taken any one in your high school for the fear that you were related either closely or distantly or you knew them since they were 3 and knew every single person that the person has dated or had any sort of relationship with. Also, when you give someone your letter jacket or class ring, the girl automatically picks out a date for the wedding. (I'm kidding about the last part.)

Before DC in 2005, I had only talked to guys online and only had madeout with one guy. At the end of that short three month period, I had learned a lot of things. Some great and some not, I just chalked it up as a great learning experience.

As you'll see in this blog, DC still has a piece of my heart. I didn't leave my heart in San Fran, but more like DC.